Panic Attack
I've just panicked for about 30 minutes straight. I'm really hoping a it's over now and that it's not just a break. I can't handle more right now. At least some of my friends will stand by me no matter how many stupid things I say or do.
Panic attacks are not fun people. They drain you of energy, will to live, joy. If anyone else has them don't be scared to talk to me. I might be able to help.
Goals For The New Year
So, these are my main goals, the things that are important to me and the things I wan't to achive.
Of course there are other things I wan't to do this year. I wan't to travel somewhere, I wan't to put focus on this blog and develop it. Which is something I will have more time for in the summer but if I manage to post three times every week I would say that's and achivement.
Losing weight is at the top of my list, it's my number one priority and it's honestly not so much losing weight as it is losing fat. I've been insecure for so long and I've been through so much around this very subject and also surrounding mental health. These are things I wan't to include in my blog aswell, mainly to help other people but also to remind myself.
Being more social is something that might be a little hard to do because of my anxiety but I'm basically just sick of missing out on a bunch of fun things.
Turning someone vegan. Yes, I do realize that most people aren't very open minded when it comes to veganism but it's honestly one of the best things I've ever done and I want to help more people into the right way of living.
I wish you all the best of luck this year.
Just A Few Pieces
The clothing rack can be found here. (Unfortunetley you can't order anything from their website so you can only buy it in store.)
Can't sleep
You know those nights when you just can't sleep no matter how hard you try? Yeah I'm having one of those nights.
It's currently 04:14 AM and I'm thinking about taking moms offer about getting me some pills because this is getting ridiculous. I have these nights way to often. I can literally go to bed at 11 PM and still don't fall asleep until 2 AM. Some nights it's worse than others as you may have noticed considering the early hour. I feel like maybe I shouldn't go to sleep at all and just stay awake until tonight. There are lots of things I'd like to do before school starts again, like finishing my book, pre-writing a couple blog posts. Maybe now is a good time since I can't fall asleep anyways. I'll have my cats as company and I might be able to sneak into the kitchen for a snack. (Probably not though since my parents have a view of the kitchen from their bedroom.) I wish I had brought my chocolate into my room...
I'm really thirsty though.
Okay this is turning into a page full of my random thoughts.
I'll try to sleep one more time.
Those Nights
When the sun is setting and you go for a (very scary) hike with your friends. The moment you think you might die cause it's so dark and you can't see where you're putting your feet down. Climbing down a very steep mountain so that you'll be able to settle on the flat ground again.
Those are the nights I wan't to remember.
about me
I live in Sweden and deal with compulsive thoughts, anxiety and panic attacks. I've been through a lot when it comes to mental health but I'm better now. It's all still there I won't lie, but I'm better.
I'm currently trying to lose weight and get healthy/fit, physically and mentally.
I have been vegan since November 14th 2015 and I'm very passionate about it.
I love writing, taking photographs, drawing, diy's (basic) and singing.
Cat's are life.
Tea addict.
I guess I would just like to say that my blog is based on my mind and as you might understand, my mind has many different sides to it. Some days I'll be happy talking about my favorite things, some days I'll hate everything and just sit in my room and cry.
If you are suicidal, if you have everything planned out, please don't act on it, please don't end your life. People love you, people care, people will cry if you leave them. It seems like you're alone and the world hates you but you're not alone and the world doesn't hate you. Please don't harm yourself in any way. I don't care that I don't know you, I love you for being alive and for fighting the urge to end the pain. It will get better, life isn't perfect but if you get through it, things will start to look brighter. :)
